I don’t understand people…

Why must people lie? Why must people betray each other? Why must all this nonsense culminate and take it’s toll on me?

Let’s start with my dad because he’s so close to me. I also have the feeling his hatred is returned. See, I am an atheist and he is the worst kind of conservative christian, but that’s just a hunch as for why he doesn’t like me. Originally I had slated to go to his wedding, so I went, stayed for some pictures and was like “I gotta get out of here.” Why I did I’m not clear on anymore. I went upstairs, changed from my tux and back into my street clothes. I walked out of the venue (Hotel Utica) and made a mad dash for my buddy Josh’s house. I get there, we hang, play some Halo 2 (if that’s an idea how long ago this was) and I sleep. Next morning arrives, I go to the hotel and nobody acts like I’ve been gone. I was supposed to be sitting with my dad and nobody bothered to call my cell phone. So we get home after the elaborate second round (my father is remarried, his wife is on her third) and suddenly my dad is all in an uproar. According to him, while I was at Josh’s house I managed to get to his computer, on it and get all his tax information. What the hell kind of conclusion is this? Eventually he was all set to call the cops. I finally talk him out of it and this is the start of his downfall.

Second, back when I still had a key to his house, he decided he wanted it back. Now that’s rather mean in my situation since I technically live there too. So I refuse and he decides it’s a good idea to sabotage my car (Cutlass). Can he ever let shit go? It’s my house too, you don’t sabotage my car when you want it to yourself.
Lately he’s been worse. I was commissioned to build a website for his wife’s new business and I gave him the condition of “I will do it for free as long as you let me use it in my portfolio.” He agreed and I whipped something together while clashing with Debbie (that’s her name) about the details of what looks good and what will produce hits. Eventually she decides that since the site isn’t done (since she never responded with what I asked for) she wants to go with someone else and I’m out money and time. She wanted the domain but I decided that since I was never paid for any of it, I refuse. We go back and forth and she calls the police on me. I explain what the law is about it (for the unenlightened, the domain is in my name, there is no pages on the site that implicate I am her so the domain rightfully stays with me) and get the officer to let me off. She then quips back with this email: “You want to know why you’re single? If there were two of you, there would still be only you.” Now this sealed the deal. Nobody who wants to treat me with love and respect like a family would ever say that to them. A put down? Yes. Supportive? Far from it.

At this point I’ve decided that Debbie has practically kidnapped and manipulated my father into whatever she desires and apparently it’s to bring me to ruin.

My mom on the other hand has been slightly as bad. I mean, we made up already, but let me just surmise by saying if you’re family or friends, do not expect tech support from me the moment you want it, I just have to get to it and if I even think you deserve it.

Let’s move on to an old high school friend. While we were slated to go to Otakon together, she kinda went missing the morning we left. I called her and got nothing so I went to my buddy Kevin who gave me her boyfriend’s number. I call him up, see if he knew anything and got no answer. Said screw it and just left without her. When I get back, she’s all pissed off because I called her boyfriend because I was concerned about where she was and now she has pretty much excommunicated me. I’m loosing friends too fast. I feel lonely.

Let’s see…online life. I’ve been totally disinterested in Final Fantasy XI lately. I don’t know if it’s because Modern Warfare 2 hit the deck or just having very few people to really do stuff with in there. My linkshell is falling apart and the world I’m on (Fairy) is basically at it’s wit’s end. I think I might have been better off on Odin. But the problem with that is the girl I mentioned in this post seems to hate me since I’ve been inquisitive about getting with her yet she has not given me any definite answers. I liked her-no, I think I loved her. I feel betrayed whereas a buddy of mine couldn’t have just told me when I saw him last month that he was involved with her. I do know when to keep my hands off, but only when I’m told. I can’t pick up hints for stuff like this. The only way I will ever know is if someone just beats me over the head with it. I decided to do a little social manipulation for the truth, but all it did was make her hate me and spread lies about me. I am unclear as to the complete truth still, but as I dig and dig I just keep coming across more and more dirt that makes me think there’s a whole lot more going on than I can figure out. It’s making me sick.

I don’t want to go to work today.

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